Henrietta Hiccup

Political advisor to the stars!

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Letter from Screenwriter

Dear Henrietta,

I'm perplexed and dismayed. Why is the so-called "president" spending $40 million on a second inauguration that isn't even necessary? And why is he taking it from Washington, D.C.'s homeland security money?

David Laurence Wagner
Screenwriter of the upcoming Horror Classic, "Crucifixa"

Dear David,

Second inaugurations are very important. They serve as a gloating technique - sort of a "neener neener neener," if you will. Of course they have no legitimate purpose, but gloating is an American tradition, like eating dead animal carcass and watching 17 hours of television per day. You can't just throw out tradition with yesterday's garbage, David.

And the money is being taken from D.C.'s homeland security fund for a very good reason. Ninety-one percent of Washington, D.C. voted for John Kerry! Therefore, they obviously don't care about their own security, since everyone knows that John Kerry was going to leave our security in the hands of third world nations, such as Vatican City.

I hope I've answered your questions, David. Good luck with "Crucifixa!" She sounds like a dandy!