Henrietta Hiccup

Political advisor to the stars!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Letter from "Rhoda" star

Dear Henrietta,

Why are liberal celebrities always speaking their minds about politics? Why do they think we want to hear anything they have to say about anything? I don’t.

Ron Silver, star of Rhoda

Dear Mr. Silver,

First off, I just want to say that I loved the episode in which your character, Gary Levy, tried to pass off Rhoda as your fiancée in front of your parents. Hahaha! That was so funny. Because she wasn’t your fiancée, really! Hahahaha! It was a ruse!

As for your question - you’re right. There are a lot of liberal celebrities and they are always expressing their opinions, for some reason. Take Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins and Ben Affleck and Matt Damon and George Carlin and Cher and Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt and Margaret Cho and George Clooney and Johnny Depp and the Dixie Chicks and Jane Fonda and Whoopi Goldberg and Madonna and Willie Nelson and Barbra Streisand and Robin Williams and Oliver Stone and Bruce Springsteen and R.E.M. and John Mellencamp and Martin Sheen and Julia Roberts and Gwyneth Paltrow and Spike Lee and Dustin Hoffman and Richard Gere and his gerbils, for example. And don’t even get me started on that Michael Moore fellow!

These people have nowhere near the sense of a Bruce Willis or an Arnold Schwarzenegger. What gives them the right to contradict the deep thoughts of the great conservative celebrity minds, such as Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears?

If it were up to me, the Patriot Act would be re-written to include a permanent banning of liberal celebrities from speaking their minds or even performing. Imagine if all movies only starred conservative celebrities! Ron Silver and Angie Harmon in “Spiderman 3!” What a wonderful world it would be.

Thanks for writing, Mr. Silver. Your two-hour speech at the Republican National Convention was very moving.